Good Morning Saudi!

Our final Weirdo of the year! What weirdo’s will 2007 bring?

In the eight weeks that Weirdo of the Week has been around, we’ve seen our fair share of weirdoes: The bad spellers, the ones who act like they know you, and the ones who comment on things like “Doodos”. But, surprisingly, I hadn’t yet come across Weirdo Type #5: The Over Confident, Aren’t I Charming and Gorgeous? Weirdo.

Enter Saleh. Saleh is from Saudi Arabia. Which makes half of what he says in his message to me even more weird and bizarre.

The subject: “hey... in a good mood here... this...”

Right.

The body:

Hey little Deena,

I am hoping that you are confedent, smart, well educated and know what you want. yeah and not needy...

Anyway, youve probably gotten a few dozen e-mails from losers who are freshly divorced from their 8th wife, have 5 bratty kids, a sexy picture of an overly-hairy back on their profile, and who just got promoted to flipping burgers at McDonalds. Either that, or youre being hit on by the geriatrics who discovered the Internet and Metamucil at that same time and are feeling as virile as a twenty year old.

Well, Im not going to spend too much time talking about myself, but Im good looking, muscular, funny, exciting, adventurous, cool, a real mans man -- the kind of man other men want to be, and women want to be with! But most of all, out of everything else, my best trait is Im modest. ..

So if youre looking to further your career at McDonalds, or think that Liver Spots are really, really hot, then Im not the guy for you. But if you want to meet up and have a great time and some great conversation, then we should get together. If you think you can handle it, that is!

Talk soon,

Sal
alphamale_biker@xxxxxxxxx.com

RIGHT. Let’s break this message down.

Hey little Deena,

UH. “Little Deena”? Excuse me, I am not your child. You are 26 (supposedly, but your photos make you look about 36), and I’m 24, which makes me two years younger than you which still does not give you the right to call me “little Deena”.

I am hoping that you are confedent, smart, well educated and know what you want. yeah and not needy...

You are from SAUDI ARABIA. You do not want your women “confedent”, smart or well educated. You want your women to be fertile, obedient and willing to take blows to the head from your shoe.

Anyway, youve probably gotten a few dozen e-mails from losers who are freshly divorced from their 8th wife, have 5 bratty kids, a sexy picture of an overly-hairy back on their profile, and who just got promoted to flipping burgers at McDonalds. Either that, or youre being hit on by the geriatrics who discovered the Internet and Metamucil at that same time and are feeling as virile as a twenty year old.

I feel like he’s describing himself here. Maybe he only divorced his 6^th wife, though. And you probably work at Burger King, not McDonalds. Props to him for knowing the difference between “you’re” and “your”, but he gets negative points for forgetting the apostrophe.

Well, Im not going to spend too much time talking about myself, but Im good looking, muscular, funny, exciting, adventurous, cool, a real mans man -- the kind of man other men want to be, and women want to be with! But most of all, out of everything else, my best trait is Im modest. ..

Breaking this down:

Good looking: No.
Muscular: If you call having no meat on your body “muscular”, then sure.
Funny: I actually laughed at his “About Me”, but it was more laughing at him than laughing with him.
Exciting: He lists “Making Money” as an interest. Unless you’re smuggling cocaine through the jungles of Colombia, I fail to see how this could be an exciting interest.
Adventurous: See above.
Cool: He writes poetry, guys. Check out one of his poems, as seen on his “About Me” section.

Petal by petal
Taking all the time in the world
I will build you with a slow fire
Stick by stick
And watch the color of your sunrise
I will play with the wind of you
Cover your body with smiles and games
Promises and fantasies
That disappear without a trace
I will stir your secret core
Witches brew of potions and incantations
And feel your folling
Floating
Simmering in my hand
I will slowly fill you up
Every crevice and curve
Watch Hear Smell Feel Taste you
Growing Full

That poem is so cool. I think I hurt something while I was laughing at this.

A real mans man -- the kind of man other men want to be, and women want to be with!: I took a poll and 10 out of 10 males do not want to be you.
My best trait is Im modest: Seriously, if I start quoting half the crap he says in this message and on his MySpace page, this entry will take about six years, but let’s just say this: Dude, you are not modest. Unless “modest” now means “I like to talk about how awesome I am to random people on the internet”. In which case, yes! You are awesome!

So if youre looking to further your career at McDonalds, or think that
Liver Spots are really, really hot, then Im not the guy for you. But if you want to meet up and have a great time and some great conversation, then we should get together. If you think you can handle it, that is!

So he goes through this whole message and talks about how awesome and totally modest he is and how he wants a “smart woman”, and then basically suggests that I’m working at McDonalds? And… Dude. I can handle you, believe me. Especially when your favourite books are things like “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” and “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.”

Oh, Saleh. You’re a great weirdo to round out the week with. Enjoy your time in Saudi Arabia; hopefully you’ll find that “smart confedent” woman you’re looking for – I hear they’re totally easy to find in a country where women aren’t allowed to think for themselves.